Co-Regulation!

Co-regulation. Your dog borrows your calm.

You may have heard the term co-regulation before. It sounds complicated, but it's actually quite simple. It means that your dog looks to you for guidance when he's stressed. In other words, he borrows your calmness.

Now the question is: What does this look like in everyday life? Imagine you're outside and another dog is approaching. Your dog tenses up, the leash goes taut, he fixes his gaze. Many people then stop, talk frantically to the dog, or continue walking straight on. For the dog, this means: 'I'm alone with this problem.' No wonder he gets worked up.

Real support instead of empty "everything's fine" talk.

Co-regulation means that you manage the situation for him. First, take a deep breath, change direction in time, walk around the area, or position yourself between your dog and the others. And say in a calm, clear voice: 'We're going this way.' This makes it clear: I'm in control. Your dog can calm down because he senses: You're in charge.

Proximity helps when the dog is looking for you

Sometimes closeness helps. If he comes to you on his own, leans against you, or takes more food , then give him a feeling of security: a calm voice, gentle touch, your body as a shield.

Distance is just as much love

But be careful: closeness only helps if he actually seeks it. If he pulls away, tenses up, or refuses a treat , then he needs distance. And distance is just as much a form of support as closeness.

Your dog reads YOUR nervous system, not your words.

Very important: Your dog immediately senses how you're feeling. If you say "Everything's fine" but your heart rate is racing, he'll know right away: Nope, nothing's fine. That's why your own calmness is crucial. Take a deep breath, slow down, relax physically – your dog will feel it immediately.

Co-regulation makes you independent, NOT dependent.

And don't worry: Co-regulation won't make your dog dependent on you. On the contrary. First, you provide him with support, then you practice together, and over time he'll be able to regulate himself better and better. This is how his self-confidence grows.

Modern term, ancient principle

Ultimately, co-regulation is nothing new. Good coaches have always worked this way. The term is modern, but the idea is old. One person provides security, which allows the other to relax.

And that's exactly the point: You are the railing your dog can hold onto until he is confident enough to let go.

C. Kaul